honestly..shut up.

I could write a song, one hundred miles long.

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 04:44:35 GMT

I don't know what has come over me this summer!!! This was potentially the worst summer in the history of all summers. Nothing worked out like i wanted it to. My friends and i never had our random slumber parties at places strung across Lewisport; Not even the laundromat. Lindsey didn't get to come over at all, and Cory got stuck in Louisville with no ride here to see us. I find out that the car budget for my sixteenth birthday is going to be around $1200, and I'm scared to death to get a car that breaks down all the time like Bethany's does, because I always leave my cell phone at home. The parts of our house (including my room) that we were building on to our house have been abandoned by some guy named John DICKson, who we are now suing. I won't get my new room until winter, minimum..and not having a personal space in this tiny house is driving me mad. My new neighbors are annoying as heck.. I suck at dealing with kids. I haven't gone to holiday world,and I'm totally broke. That's my summer in a nutshell. But back to the first sentence: I don't know what has come over me this summer!!! All of this crap has happened, yet this peace has come over me. I know a huge part of it is going back to church and leaving all my grudges behind, then getting right with god. but there were also so many other decisions I've made, that have just eased my mind more than ever. I just feel......mellow. I feel that I could just leave this place, and leave everything behind and start a new life. I could leave the extrovert behind and meet so many strangers. I want to go...I want to prove myself. to myself. I don't have to conform, or care about all those stupid categories that people will place me in. I just feel.....free. and it's making me want to leave this place and go out on my own, all alone to meet new people by myself; just to see if I could do it. I know I can do it. I hate being shy, and that will always be a part of who I am....but I'm never going to let it get in the way of the point I want to come across about my opinion. because my opinion is important. I just feel so strongly that the rest of this year, no matter how screwed up it has begun to pan out, could be a revelation of good for me. All I've got to work on is my negativity, because it's gotten so bad that it even annoys me! but hopefully with some new wisdom, and expirience it will fade. I feel like I've grown up so much, and I can't wait to show it to whoever sees. I'm me, just......amplified.

you make me invisible..

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 05:09:30 GMT

How come it's so hard for me to get it together?

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 06:15:07 GMT

Okay, so I really want to just sit down and write a meaningful post. and after this, I'm going to sit in my tree. I don't feel like myself lately. it's like, my negativity is finally so horrible that it's even annoying me. But I don't know how to change it. Here I am, feeling all stupid, needing to talk to somebody. who knows who... about who knows what. and my brain just doesn't process things right anymore...
...whatever.

Ryan's now in the pit. So is Jake Miller O_O
anyways, gotta go to that trusty tree.
anybody wanna have a nice heart-to-heart around a bon fire with me?

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:54:59 GMT

Am I overreacting about Ryan not being in band this year? I mean, he did say that he's probably gonna be in it next year. and I can tell that he's trying to put family first. I understand all of that. So, why am I freaking out so much. I stayed up 'til way past 4:30 thinking about what it's gonna be like without him. it's almost like, for me he's moving away. because I rarely get to see him outside of band. now I'm section leader, and I can't do it alone. sectionals is gonna be me, Jakob Hall, and Parker. Jakob's gonna try to rape me....and Parker's been hanging out with Ethan so much, I'm scared of how he'll turn out. I just really miss Ryan. I miss him already.

and now I'm wondering why I'm even in band anymore.

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:42:02 GMT

Olivia invites you to SocialVibe.com

I'd just like to point out how much I love fastball. haven't heard them in forever.

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 06:16:21 GMT

Fastball, which way to the top-

Where did you leave your baby
Bleeding in her bed
Her ghost has come to stay
Oh, you can try, you can't chase her away
In the bar we sit like blackbirds
With our broken wings
Like clocks without their springs
Just like time doesn't mean anything
Won't you tell me
Which way to the top?
You know that I can't stay
Down here
We used to ride around in a broken down old car
But now I'm changing trains
Oh, and I'll hit all the notes in between
Mom and Dad are fast asleep now
But I'll be wide awake
A surfer in the break
Oh, just waiting for the perfect wave
And a place in the shade
Won't you tell me
Which way to the top?
You know that I can't stay
Down here
You better get it now while
The getting's good
Get it now while it's happening
You better get it now while
The getting's good
Get it now while it's happening
Won't you tell me
Which way to the top?
You know that I can't stay
Down here
Won't you tell me
Which way to the top?
You know that I can't stay
Down here

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:18:50 GMT

dear self,
you get yourself into these situations. you unknowingly fall into the trap, using your own words while doing it. STOP, before it happens again. this is the last time this is happening, and after that...well. it's not your problem.

-Liv

hayylivejournal.

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 20:36:04 GMT

hmmmm. I don't really want to write about what happened in Myrtle Beach in here, because it would take entirely too long. All I know is that it was an emotional roller coaster for all of us. We were stretched spiritually beyond belief, but it was all so worth it. God is really dealing with me.

and, the whole being stranded outside of Knoxville thing. was so hilarious. It was truly a unique experience
:DDD

OhmygoshI'mreallynotpreparedforthis.

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 15:30:32 GMT

Myrtle Beach with the youth. I just found out I was going two days ago, and I'm really unprepared. I feel like there's a lot I need to be doing...
AND, I have like NO "appropriate" shorts. I guess I'll have to go to Wal*mart and spend MY money on shorts that I will never wear again after this trip.
-_-
but hey...on the bright side, I'm going. yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss :D
and now Lacie's coming, so it's gonna be fun.
Plus, the pool in our hotel is AMAZING!

eek! stress?

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 02:36:03 GMT

That's it, I'm moving to Spotsville.

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 02:46:31 GMT

So, I'm in Ohio. And I'm really bored.
nothing much else to say...
Lacie's dad thinks I'm a failure because I wanna work in the fashion industry :D

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 19:22:43 GMT

So, I had the longest nightmare last night. It was band camp 2008. I don't know why I'm so stressed out about it, but it started out me forgetting like, everything. I didn't know any of the music, I forgot to wear tennis shoes (wtf?) and nobody had sunscreen. lol, that would be HORRIBLE. I don't know why I'm so nervous, exactly. but I just want us to do so much better than last year. idk, maybe it's that I care too much? ahhhh, but I can't stop thinking about it.
it's so dumb.

answer me this...

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:22:50 GMT

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Place of residence:
4. What makes you happy:
5. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. Do you read my LJ:
7. If you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. Favorite place to be:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:

13: Post the most recent picture of yourself:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song and an album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your LJ so i can tell you what I think of you

Kill me quick.

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 03:31:04 GMT

I'm not much of a go-getter, am I? I guess I could be more of a go-and-waiter, or a go-to-sleeper...lmao. I used to be so determined to get places in life, and to always get what I want. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm an extremely DEMANDING person. I'll whine, cry and scream until I get exactly what I want, or I'll find one way to get it. But I'm sick of taking the easy route about things. I'm so lazy about everything, all the time. I wanna be a go-getter :D

This summer stinks.
I'm such a pessimist..
no heritage festival for me. I'd rather be a hermit than roam the streets of Lewisport with most of the people who inhabit this town
-_-

life sucks

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 05:48:41 GMT

without friends...
I hate that.
I want to be close to my friends again, more than ever. things are horrible, mannnn.

taken care of? yes, we're healing.

..been posting too much nonsense.

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 06:26:19 GMT

"or maybe there really is no set definition of a person, maybe we're all just made up of the perceptions we give other people and ourselves, maybe that and our thoughts are what make us up"

you turned on your radio, but your radio turned me on...

Wed, 28 May 2008 01:33:43 GMT

What I used to look like......wow.

Mon, 26 May 2008 06:35:11 GMT

this took forever! (image heavy)

forever ago, basically virgin hair.

no comment?

got some really thick bangs..the rest was flat.

I have thin hair..this was forever ago. dyed black underneath.

started to go lighter. kept the black (now brown) peekaboo.

got a decent haircut.

ALWAYS wore wayyyyy too much eyeliner. I though I was pretty hardcore by then. hair keeps getting lighter.

hair basically turns orange..continues to grow.

it was temporarily purple.

hair got lighter, and I never looked at the camera....never ever smiled. wow.

wtf orange hair?

lookin' decent..

I loved it here.

thought I was gangsta?

cut it again and loved the layers...for a while.

even more blond.

sometimes with random marker in my hair...

me and my TAN brother.. I wore a lot of bows, before every emo kid alive started wearing them.

NOAH rebuild :]

it was pretty blond by now..

or yellow?

marker. Lacie's house.

light blond hair!

grills?

I miss this brown/blond thing..... =/

It was way long. and I miss it.

curled.

chopped it off, majorly.

it quickly became mullety..

it grew to this. (excuse the face)..

this freaking coon tail designed stayed in my hair for a week =/ ew.

grew into this :D

then this.

\
bleached it >.<

accidentally died it..close to black! wow.

it faded.

Dyed it Dark reddish brown..

florida reallllllyyyy faded it.

it's getting longer..

and healthier. YAY! :]

Died it "Paint the town" red. herbal essences, or whatever.

another..

faded to this.

so, for some crazy reason I stripped all the color out. it stripped to a yellowy bleached color, and then 2 inches of my natural roots.

I decided to just dye over that with a dark brown..

I made myself post.

Fri, 23 May 2008 22:18:50 GMT

So, school's out. That's great news. It hasn't really sunk in yet, that I don't have to worry about grades and stuff for a couple months. I'm pretty psyched about just chilling this summer. Anyway, The appraiser guy called today and appraised our crappy double wide for $40,000, which was surprisingly high. This way, we'll have more money to do stuff with it, y'know? It's so weird, building out..but as long as I get my own room this summer AND a car later on, I'm totally content.

Graduation is tomorrow. Bethany, along with a lot of other great friends are leaving. I'll see Bethany still, everyday so I'm not sad about that. Just happy for her. I am sad about having to ride the bus until APRIL next year, however. O_______O
annnnnnnnnnnd....I just watched the senior anthology, which took forever. It made me realize how bad people's accents are here. lmao.

I don't have to babysit tonight, for a change. but we can't really go anywhere. we might do a movie night. hmmmmm. NATIONAL TREASURE TWO!!!!!!!!!!

Riley <3

I've got a lot of my mind. I've been thinking in...short. choppy. sentences lately. Just, trying to keep it together. luckily, things should be winding down and getting a tad less hectic soon. Can't wait for that, mayynee.

Peace.

p.s. I PASSED ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank god, no more Mrs. Byard.

we are both dying.

Fri, 09 May 2008 02:44:56 GMT

Hmmm. back from florida so soon.. It feels weird.
I wanna go back, only. by myself. I kind of just wanna go somewhere alone, because here I never get the time to collect my thoughts and really see who I am, and who I want to be.
It's hard to grow in a small town like this. Sometimes it gets hard to breathe.
school is almost out, thank the lord. Summer is coming, it'll get warmer. I can finally relax for once.

and start having money again.
:]

Thu, 08 May 2008 03:04:46 GMT

I don't like this website anymore.

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 02:34:06 GMT

Lindsey,
Hmmm. there's a lot of truth to our relationship. We have stayed true to each other, and ourselves. I love how me and you have grown up so much, but it's like we've barely grown apart. You're still you, and I'm still me. 'cept we're not in fourth grade. I remember back then, when we thought we were rebels because we wore flip flops everyday, when they weren't allowed at Lewisport Elementary. I remember standing in the lunch line, talking about how we must marry a boy with blond hair, because there aren't enough blonds in the world anymore. I remember hanging out in the dugout, and promising to bury our favorite things there, like in the movie Crossroads. You know, the one with Brittney Spears before she turned crazy? Yeah, I STILL haven't seen that. I look back now and really wish didn't love our favorite things as much as we did... because, looking back, I don't even remember what they were. It would be so awesome if we did that. I remember when you found out about your parents divorcing; how you just cried and cried all day, finally telling me what was wrong while we were sitting in music class (instead of playing our stupid recorders). We both thought the world was over for us.. But little did we know at the time, our lives would be turned upside down. We couldn't be that twosome anymore. And when I realized that, I dunno about you, but this sinking feeling just came over me. What would happen to "The Annoying News".. What would happen to you? Where were you going to move? What would I do? But we found a way. We had so many hilarious sleep overs, and stayed as close as we possible could. It was hard, but we tried. And we're still trying. How? I have no idea. Most people like us just forget.... but we didn't. Because, well. We're just awesome! Anyways. Mann. THIS is what I think about you. You are one of my BEST friends, and obviously, no matter what the circumstance and no matter where we go, we will stay tight. You'll always be there for me, and I for you. You help me to open up about my problems. If I'm having a hard day, I know I can just send it all in a letter to you and feel instantly relieved. You've been consistently here for me through my problems, little and big. so thanks. And I will always love you like a sister :]

ew testing.

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 22:14:45 GMT

yeah, school pretty much sucks. but whatever, I'll barely make it through. Pretty much eight days until the band trip, and I'm pretty pumped. we're gonna have loads and loads of funnnn :D
until then, time is moving pretty slow.

and yeah, I'm listening to Shaggy.
'cause he's amazing!

Hold your head high, heavy heart.

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 03:47:46 GMT

So take a chance and make it big,
Cause it's the last you'll ever get.
If we don't take it, when will we make it?
I make plans to break plans,
And I've been planning something big, planning something big, planning......

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 05:04:16 GMT

I'm sorry for bringing you down all the time. I know we were/are best friends. we were inseparable. but I have change A LOT. more than any of us realize. More than I want to ever realize.. I don't like how things are, but I can't just apologize to your face; it's not that easy. I can't because I know this is going to happen again. You annoy me, okay. you annoy me too much. and then sometimes I love you for always being there. and I just don't know. I'm sorry. but I know it'll happen again.... and I'm beginning to want to leave myself even more than I want to leave you. I'm going to fix this.

because I'm always complaining, I'm always confused. I'm always disoriented. I blame everything on everybody else. and it's time for me to grow up, just a little bit. it's time to take responsibility for who I am. and I know exactly who I am, right?

I'm always saying how I want to leave this place; how I want to be free of it all. But, the sad truth is, I can never escape myself. and just when I start to feel comfortable in my own skin, it's like all those emotions turn upside-down and all the thoughts I had been savoring as my own.. that made me feel like I knew who I was, they twist and turn, shape and form into something totally different then I ever had anticipated. It's like one big cycle, and no matter how much I talk about it, nothing ever changes. Just when I think I'm starting to get better, I crash and burn.

and one look can change everything..... one look can ruin my day. One word can wreck a lifetime. and I'm just so scared.
(but I'm sure none of this makes sense to you)